JAN 6, 2012: 209 days until I turn 30

Well here goes. With the new year having started I have realized several things. First though I have loved being a stay at home mom, with entering the work force looming closer and closer I feel completely unprepared. I have basically been home for 6 years with only the company of toddlers. In a world of adults I sometimes feel completely inept. As a stay at home mom you can hole up in your house with your little ones if you feel unsocial. As a stay at home mom if you don’t get along with someone you don’t have to see them. As a stay at home mom you are basically in a bubble of other moms and most of you friends are married and have basically the same lifestyle as you. It is a totally different experience interacting with people who are single or don’t have children. What do you talk about? Though one of my problems is I always feel like I have to have something to say so I find myself talking just to talk. Most days I feel like a teenager trying to hang out with her mom’s friends. I feel stunted. I entered my house as a 22 year old and came back out as a 29 year old. Mentally however I still only have the life experience, professionally anyway, of a 22 year old.

The second thing I have noticed in my twenties is that I have gone up and down constantly with my weight. Though I could blame having 3 kids in my 20’s I have to say that is not the cause. I spend 6 mos. losing the weight and then 6 mos. gaining it back. My goal is to get back down by 30 and then never look back.

Speaking of goals here are a couple I have. Number 1 is to feel my age. I want to have the confidence I should have and stop feeling like a little girl. I honestly don’t know how to do that but there it is. Secondly I am going to get back into shape and stay that way. Then there is the spiritual aspect of it all. Since I started school I have become an occassional church goer and I hate it. After being gone all week it so easy just to hole up in the house and stay in pajamas all day on the weekends. Well that stops here. This year I am going to study not just read my bible. I found a podcast yesterday called Jesus at 2am. I also started beth moore's a year to freedom as I pray through that I am going to focus on my insecurities. Well there it is my plan for gaining confidence ask God to give it to me!

  

 About fitness

Work outs: everyday

Eating: below my calorie intake goal everyday

Water intake: 3 liter at least daily

About school:

I am doing well academically but still feel uncomfortable in the lab. I get nervous with the application part of it. Even if I know what I am doing I still feel so inadequate.  That I am sure will come with time. I also need to work on my study habits. So far school has come so easy to me. I listen in class and study the night before the test and make A’s. I know that when I get into a nursing program it is going to require more than that.

 I have some practice ahead of me. We just got our study hand book for certification. I plan to study this daily this is definitely not something I will be able to study the night before.  I also start seminar in February. I need to get my TG&C (trade names and generics of drugs), and order of draw to stick. These next couple months are going to be big but they will be good practice. I need to really get organized. I'm going to need it. After we leave here I plan to start nursing school and minor in nutrition.